Deze tekst kreeg ik van Andrzej Sensei, de echtgenoot van Malgosia Braunek Roshi.
Malgosia Roshi’s Last Dharma Talk
Master Shizan answered a student, that not-knowing is most intimate.
For over a year this most intimate practice has been with me during every moment. I don’t have to try to remember it anymore. True, in the beginning there was struggle and sometimes a sincere rebellion when everything has been changing from moment to moment and subsequent plans have been falling through, or when thoughts have been arising that I must know! whatever, at least how and how long this will go on. One cannot live in such a way! But, nevertheless, I am not doing anything else – I continue living now.
The total acceptance of „don’t know“, in spite of many years of practice, turns out not to be such a simple thing… but when it happens that I do accept that I don’t know, I let go thoughts, images, expectations, and so fears and mental frustrations disappear, and silence and peace arise. It turns out that we have in us this safe space and the key to it, all the time and it only depends on us whether we make use of it.
DON’T KNOW gives us strenght and trust in everything that appears, and is the true antidote for our expectations that things be different from what they are.
May every day be limitless like today’s sky, which in its blue contains everything, as it knows nothing.
I am with you and I am very grateful to you for everything that you are doing for me. I lack the words to express how much it all moves me.
Hope to see you soon in the zendo!